How do I live without you?

Karkat didn't know how it was possible for one human to be so annoying, but he was. John Egbert was the most infuriating human he'd ever met hands down. Take right now for example; Karkat put on Con Air, John's favorite movie, in hopes that the human would leave him alone for more than two fucking seconds. Unfortunately the trolls plan backfired. John was now bugging the ever loving fuck out of Karkat to watch the dumb fucking movie with him!
"But Karkat, you've never seen Con Air! I know you'd just love it, Nic Cage is a great actor! He's one of my favorites!" John gushed about the same shit that he always fucking gushed about, like Nic Cage being the best fucking actor in existence and Con Air was and always will be his best fucking roll in anything ever made.
"John, why don't you ever just shut the fuck up? Just stop fucking talking, it's not that fucking hard." The troll growled. John looked slightly put off, but that was as overused as his fan-gushing. "I swear you're going to drive me shit-hive maggots because of this stupid fucking human movie and it's inferior human actors. I have no fucking clue why you think constantly pestering me about this stupid piece of shit movie will ever get me to fucking watch it."
"Maybe I should go watch it with someone that can appreciate it's greatness, like Vriska." John smiled smugly as Karkat visibly cringed at the mention of the female trolls name. But Karkat was not to be defeated this time! He would not watch that fucking piece of shit human movie. He would not tease himself like that. He may not have watched Con Air, but he knew that John cried every time Nic Cage gave that stupid dirty bunny to the little girl. Every time. No exceptions. The troll would not sit next to a pathetically crying John if he couldn't wrap his arms around him and kiss the tears away because John wasn't a fucking homosexual!
"Fine, fucking go watch the Gog damned movie with Vriska. I don't fucking care. I hope she fucking ties you up in her basement and fucking tortures you with dirty stuffed bunnies for being such a pathetic fuckass!" Karkat shouted with large gesticulations. The troll regretted it as soon as he said it. He didn't really want that to happen to anyone, especially John. He hoped that John knew he didn't mean it, but one look at his face said that he took it very seriously. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK! How could he be such a fucking moron? Karkat knew better than to say shit like that to John, because John didn't fucking get when he was joking.
"Alright then, I think I'll be going now. Obviously this isn't going to work. I'll come back for my things when you've calmed down." John's voice cracked while he spoke through a sad version of his usual derpy smile. No! This isn't what he wanted! He wanted John to stay, but all he could bark out was a curt 'Fine' as John turned and headed for the exit. Maybe this would be better without John. It didn't mean he would never see him again, and Karkat enjoyed living alone anyway. Yeah, it would be great to live alone again.
But then the door closed, and Karkat panicked. He couldn't possibly live without John! Waking up in the morning and not seeing his sleepy smile as he flipped through the channels on his TV, or coming home after a sparring session and not have John stumbling around in the kitchen trying to cook him something would devastate him. Karkat realized that John was the only good thing he had going and he'd just fucked it up. He sprinted for the door, praying to Jegus that he wasn't gone yet. He threw the door open, nearly yanking it off of it's hinges when he slipped on the welcome mat, frantically searching for any signs of that stupid blue hood. Nothing. His heart sank and he covered his eyes to hide the trickles of pastel red. John was gone. And he'd chased him away. His knees felt weak and his stomach flopped in a sickening way. Gog he hated himself and he- Was that giggling? His ears perked up. Yes, yes it was giggling! Gog fucking damnit!
"John, get the fuck down here!" Karkat screamed, infuriated that he'd fall for one of John's stupid fucking pranks. John was laughing as he gently floated down from his hiding spot. The infuriatingly annoying human wrapped his arms around Karkat in an aggravatingly platonic hug. "Gog I fucking hate you John."
"I love you too Karkat!" was his irritatingly cute reply. They went inside and restarted Con Air and Karkat loved and hated every moment spent with John cuddled up to his side.